Black Friday?

Pictures from Downtown Chico, day after Thanksgiving

Gratititude

So how overdone is it to think about Gratitude on Thanksgiving day? I'd say....way. And still, I feel so compelled this morning to think about just that.

How lucky I feel to be in this particular body, at this particular time. To be one of the ones that gets to bear witness to the smallest acts of courage....like the weeds that grow up through the sidewalk. They are my mentors. They find what they need with limited resources and just.....grow. They move concrete out of the way, peice by peice, to become what they are supposed to be in the Grand Design of things. Whenever I see these hardy souls, I just want to shout "Hallelujah! You made it! Welcome!" I think this is an appropriate greeting, they deserve no less. And, I genuinely feel that when I find a way to move the sidewalk above me and push out into life, my green friends will be waiting for me with the same enthusiasm.

Yay for the weeds....I am so very grateful!

A City Birthday

My 42nd birthday was the one that I spent in San Fransisco. It was raining and stormy at our house, and it felt like a good day to get away.

The city was as we needed it to be that day......sunny and cool. Full of life and people and activity. Full of words and lights and smells. A concrete forest. Otherworldy to us rural folk.

That is why we make the trip, about once a year. To experience life with another view. To be reminded there is a whole other world teeming with energy and happenings even as we slip into the solitude of winter. Life keeps happening somewhere, all the time.

We walked and took it all in. Im sure my family looked as foreign to the landscape as it appeared to us. We were the aliens, the immigrants, ignorant of the many languages and paradigms that we saw.

I enjoyed an old bookstore, coffee from a cafe, murals and tall buildings, crossing the street with the locals...trying to keep pace with their strides and certainty. I enjoyed seeing things through the lense of my camera and my own limited perspective. And I really enjoyed pulling back into my own little driveway, to my own little quiet house, surrounded by trees and weeds and twinkling stars.

Three Things

To live in this world

you must be able

to do three things:

to love what is mortal;

to hold it

against your bones knowing

your own life depends on it;

and, when the time comes to let it go,

to let it go.

~Mary Oliver~

Falling

Here in the Sierra Nevada foothills, in my little corner of the world, nature is showing off her most brilliant, amazing colors. Everywhere I go, the beauty of fall makes me stop and take notice. This year, I am intrigued by the colors themselves. Isn't it interesting that the colors that are prevalent this time of year are red, orange and yellow...the colors associated with the first three chakras?

Obviously, autumn colors predate the ancient sages and their philosophies about how the human energy body works. It does make me wonder about the color associations, though. Were they inspired by this time of year, a time before sending our roots down deep before winter sleep?

There are so many shades of red right now, not only all the leaves but in the fruits of the season: red apples and pomegranates. Red is associated with the root, or muladhara chakra. It is where we ground our selves in this world, this body.....How safe do I feel? How do I care for my body?

Orange is everywhere, a traditional fall color....pumpkins, leaves, persimmons, sunsets...it is the color of our second chakra, svadhisthana, our watery center that determines emotions and creativity. Do I feel my innermost feelings? Do I allow myself to enjoy pleasure fully?

The yellows this year are particularly bright and beckoning. How can you miss the bright yellow trees and lemons? They seem full of life and vitality. This is the color of your third chakra, which is, no surprise....your power center, and home of your will. Do I stand in my power or give it away to others? Can I set a strong intention and see it through?

For me, not a day has gone by this season without feeling an outpouring of gratitide.....Thank you beautiful Mother for the reminder to see myself through the lense of energy and opportunity. Thank you for the bounty of colors and foods that ground and heal me, reminding me of the holiness of it all.......

The Process

It seems that my process doen't change, regardless of what I am learning or doing or working towards. When I first begin a journey, an undertaking of any kind, there is excitement, possibility. For the past week and a half, the world has been extra colorful....everything feels meaningful, alive, electric. I have felt inspired, connected, open. Words have come, pictures sketched and taken. I have felt stirrings and longings come up from the bottom of a deep ocean of my unconcious...I feel them gasp for air and declare that it is time for their birth, claiming right to life and light. It was been amazing and powerful, scary and nurturing all at the same time. Then yesterday, it came. I wont call it being "stuck", I don't like the linearness of that word. It is more like hiking down out of amazing mountians full of intense trees and rock outcropings into a meadow. Not that loveliness cant be found in the meadow, but after the intensity of the mountian, it feels flat. The walking is easy and requires less mindfulness and awareness. So, I feel...flat. And I feel myself go back to sleep, a little.

This is the part where I panic, despair that whispered feeling of disconnection, start to doubt my path at all, and consider the mountianous part of my journey more illusitory than real. I start running those tapes, well worn. Who am I to consider this journey? Others are so much more________(insert word here: magical, strong, connected, educated, charismatic....) than I am. What really, am I thinking.

The only thing that is different this time that I SEE my process, that this is the way it goes, and I remember that I made a concious commitment, one that I musn't waiver from...even in the valley, even when those demons of doubt come and try to deter me. I have a word, and I am tracking her, attempting with limited hunting skills and dull arrows even, to find her and devour her. That word is congruency. Not even a fun word! But when I hear it I pause, listen deeply....sigh. I wish for congruency...for my outer world to become a reflection of the deepest parts of my inner world. For the work I do to be who I am. To bring out and into full view my longings, my loves, the altar of my heart.

So I'm going to hang in my valley, look for the flowers and herbs that grow there, allow myself to have my process, and rest. Integrate. Make peace with a few demons. And know...KNOW that there will be more climbing ahead, and never will there be a shortage of rugged terrain to navagate. And it is enough sometimes so amble quietly, or sit purposely waiting to catch the scent of your beloved on the wind.

Pictures of Ordinary

All you need is.....




Beauty



New Shoots

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Life Happens

Wishing everyone all the beauty, mystery, joy and awareness they can hold.......

Samhain Altar

A quick post to start my blog.....Here are some pictures of my Altar this year. It was very bittersweet to pull out pictures of all my loved ones who have passed on...I miss my Grand-parents a great deal. It reminds me of how precious our time here is, and that someday I will be but a memory for someone else. The sign above my altar says "May this time of death, sacred spirits and ancestors lead us to search for what needs renewing...what must be released....what invites change....and what illuminates a new path ahead...." It is the time of year for introspection, release and compassion. A time to slow and contemplate where we've been and where we're headed. I watch the leaves fall from the trees, and remember being told that the leaves are the ears of the trees, and they release them to the ground so to listen more carefully to mother earth. I like that thought, and make a commitment to listen carefully and deeply.

I was pleased to add herbs to my altar this year (at the advice of my new teachers!) and so have a plate of a few of my fav's: hyssop, mugwort, chamomile, hawthorn, and yarrow. Such wise ancestors....such wonderful teachers!

I will leave my altar in place until the 5th, so to keep the releasing/renewal conciousness in my space.